I feel like abortions should bother me more
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
