like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm always down for nudity.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
