oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
