Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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