last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
