Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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