i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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