honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
