I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize