Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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