The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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