Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
