my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize