Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
