i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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