Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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