I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have already put on my inside pants.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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