I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
