You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
