we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
