he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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