can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
