So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
