Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
only if we run a train.
done.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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