Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
