the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
