If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
