HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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