There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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