My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
