do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
