I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I cut my penus on the lid.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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