Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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