last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
