my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you never un-have a 4some
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
