I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
