We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
