Plan B is the new Plan A
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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