I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
