Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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