i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
