kristin has been a bad kristin
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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