tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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