Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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