How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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