I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
