You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
