I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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