he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
