What a fucking waste of an outfit
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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