I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
zippers are such a cool invention
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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