he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
