She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
