I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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