the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
