sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize