It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
