Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
