I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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