People in love make me want to vomit
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize