K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize