You just made me feel so damn special
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
