ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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