You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
