Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
